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  • Writer's pictureM.E. Collins

It's NOT Ok! Domestic Violence Dads and Moms

Women DO NOT have the right ever to hit a man, knowing that most men were raised not to strike a woman.

I am sharing my ordeal for the 1st time and hope that you will listen and take action. While attending FAU and FIU for a double major, I was dating this beautiful woman, not knowing she was scarred from an abusive marriage in another country. In some countries, they don't do anything to the men who treat women like this. It first started with the verbal abuse. She would show up in my class, claiming I was having sex with everyone in my class. Keep in mind the social work field is made up of women. So, in class, that was 89% women.

For a while, I forgave her because of her past. I suggested counseling, but she wouldn't go. I found this out later because I was taking a full workload at the university and never followed up with her sessions. Then came the physical abuse; I would show up to class with scratches on my face, leg, and arm. It got so bad my classmates and professors wanted to call the police, but I would make up excuses that I hit something while working in the house.

The FINAL DRAW! One night at 1 a.m. in the morning when I had to sleep in the other room and I told her that if you don't get help, I'm out and leaving this relationship. She started yelling, cussing me out and pulled a knife on me. I had to take the knife from her and restrain her. I asked her to stop. The neighbors called the police because she was so loud. I was asked to step outside as if I was the aggressor. Then the officer came out to arrest me and not sure what lies she told. Wow! Then I said to the officer, “Let me show you something.” I'm reached for my phone, showed the officer and the Sergeant the pictures of the bruises on my face, legs, arm, back. He immediately went back in, and when she came out, she was in handcuffs. The officers apologized to me.

In a nutshell, I moved 3 counties away, bailed her out after 4 days. The last advice I gave her was “Get help and fix you before you get involved with another man.” Ladies do not take advantage of a man who is taught not to hit a woman, trust me when I say this. It's not a sign of weakness.

Men you do not hit a woman, correction real men don't hit a woman. Whether she runs her mouth, provokes you, if you think that's how you show love by beating her, you're a punk. Women, when you talk smack, say thinks like “ I could be with your boy”, “cheat on you”, or state “I will disrespect your home by bringing another man in it”, you put us in a really bad position mentally. Men, instead walk away from ANY woman who puts you in this situation.

To my ladies in an abusive relationship… nothing is wrong with you, and you are not ugly. The time and energy you spend in that abusive relationship is the time that a man for you is looking for you. Many women stay because of finances, or for their children. No one deserves to have their life threatened or in danger. You are better than this! Enough is enough!

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